“Becoming single? It sucks! I’ve been single, as you put it, for six years and I haven’t found anything good about it. I’m sure I don’t know what there is to learn.”

This is Trisha. We chatted very frankly but all too briefly, during the meet-and-greet time before a program. She had come from out of town to meet Anne, a mutual friend, and attend the meeting.

“People tell me their ideas about being single. They talk about being independent and making new friends and meeting great men but they are just talking about themselves, and what they want, or think they want, and what they think I should want. But they are not talking about me and what I might want, or not want. Although there’s plenty of ‘shoulds’ and ‘you should do this’ and ‘you shouldn’t do that.’ But not from Anne, here. She’s great.

But most of the time I don’t know what I want, except that I don’t want someone telling me what I should or should not do. Nobody wants that. You’re right about not getting much practice at being single when you’re a couple. Well, of course not.

And that was OK. With Arthur, he ran our lives. I didn’t have to decide to do this or that. We were a couple and that’s how it was. I loved it, or thought I did. So you’d think I like someone now but the fact is I don’t. And that’s why I say what I do.